The Flash “The Flash Is Born” Review
By Lex Lutz
This week on The Flash, Barry finally gets a decent name change, Iris is still a pretty awful reporter, Colossus stops by to say “hello”, and Joe continues to work on solving Nora Allen’s murder.
Iris West, you bug me.
I should probably explain. I assume you’re reading this because all of the fictional characters on the shows I review are huge fans of my work. So let me tell you, dear Iris, that you’re a great disappointment to me. With the exception of punching a guy’s lights out (more on that later), you’re easily one of the most lackluster characters I’ve seen on a television show in a long time.
This week, you get to meet “The Streak”. Again. He stops by the coffee shop and you, in all of your expert reporting, ask him questions like “What’s your favorite color?”. This bugs me to no end, Iris, because I feel you should be smarter. I grew up watching sassy fictional reporters like Lois Lane make you look like a fool. I know better, and I expect more from you. The most you have ever given us is the name “The Flash” and you didn’t actually come up with it. Barry did. Forgive me when I use such harsh terms, but Iris, you need to get your shit together.
Okay, Iris, it’s time to stop reading. I need to talk about stuff you’re not supposed to know about now. Return to your oblivious nature. You’re very pretty. I hope that compliment makes you feel better.
In “The Flash Is Born”, Barry encounters a new freak of the week. The guy is basically Colossus. They call him Tony Woodward on the show, and he’s Barry’s former school bully, but for the purposes of awful comedic writing, I’m going to continue to call this steel man Colossus.
Colossus beats Barry to a pulp in this episode. Seriously, Barry gets his ass kicked on 3 separate occasions. In the first encounter, he breaks some bones and has stuff punctured. Cisco comes up with the brilliant plan of taking down Colossus by punching him at 800 miles per hour, creating a sonic boom in the process. I hate to disappoint you, but Barry did not in fact yell “Sonic boom bitch!” in Colossus’s face when he pulls off the punch.
Despite the warnings from, well… everyone, Iris persists in writing her blog about “The Streak” and is pulled into this nonsense when Colossus tracks her down. He wants to be immortalized by a blog a couple of people are reading, so he kidnaps Iris. He also admits to having a crush on her. Why was this tidbit thrown in? To make him creepier, I suppose. I couldn’t really come up with a better reason. It felt out of place, but I digress.
Barry ends up pulling off the super sonic punch on Colossus, rattling him, but not knocking him out. Iris is the one that ends up doing that in her finest hour. Dammit, Iris, I know you can be a bad-ass! Stop tempting me to think you might not suck!
In the end, Colossus ends up in the underground prison at S.T.A.R labs and Barry reveals his identity to him. It doesn’t seem like a very important reveal at the moment, one that just makes Barry feel better about being the good guy, but there’s no way revealing his identity is not going to come back around and bite him in the ass later.
Throughout the episode, Joe has enlisted Dr. Wells’s help in investigating the murder of Nora Allen, Barry’s mother. While he’s doing this, Joe looks into Wells and finds he moved to Central City one month before Nora Allen’s murder. Wells says he did this because he needed a fresh start after the loss of his wife, Tess.
I’m not buying it. Wells has been deceptive throughout this entire show, and the tag at the end of the episode only seems to prove he is either the one who killed her or he’s involved in one way or another. At the end of the episode, Joe gets a visit from the “yellow blur” who steals all of his files and leaves a threat against Iris on Joe’s wall. No one else, other than Barry, knows that Joe is investigating Nora’s murder. Wells is up to no good, Joe. Don’t trust him!
Bottom line: Iris continues to be a thorn in my side. I want stronger female leads on The Flash. This episode is decent, but other than giving a new name to “The Streak”, it doesn’t offer much.