Our resident scientific genius, Andrew Luna, has stopped by again to inspire, educate, and excite us with another episode of “Luna’s Logic!”
With the rover recently landing on mars to study rocks and other exciting things, I decided to take a moment to talk about the five planets this probe will probably not want to visit.
1st planet: Tatooine:
If this rover landed on Tatooine chances are it would suffer the same fate as its more advanced robotic relatives. In Star Wars Episode IV we remember The Jawas had a field day with CP3O and R2D2. By the looks at how the other robots were treated we can safely assume earth’s rover would be abused without mercy. This thing was built to study rocks and take fish eye pictures (Can anyone even make out what the heck its capturing?!) Regardless, the Jawas would see the rover as a quick cash opportunity or as extra scrap metal. It would not make many galactic credits since the technology is not as advanced. Plus, the little rover cannot speak Bocce.
Imagine the rover capturing fish eye images of an alien hive. The rover would definitely not want to visit this planet since maneuvering and getting around would not be easy. Plus the Xenomoprhs blend in perfectly with their surroundings. I highly doubt the Aliens would care much about earth’s little rover unless the it bumped into them or tried to sample a piece of a Xenomorph’s ass, then they would not react so kindly. In fact, at the end of the mission this rover would most likely be destroyed by a very angry Xenomorph. After NASA finds out there is (intelligent and lethal) life on this planet, oh boy! Look out! I bet the end result would be similar to the Alien films. Humans will try to go there to gain control of the aliens and we all know how that goes! (Chestbusters for everyone!)
The Borg Homeworld/Ship
These “Swedish” aliens are highly advanced compared to the little earth rover. If it landed on their home world the Borg would not add it to their collective. Resistance would definitely not be futile. However once this little bugger snagged pictures of the Borg technology and interfering with their machines, The Borg would probably take notice. Most likely the would try to figure out where this little bugger came from, or they would dismantle it and add the 2012 technology to their collective. I’m sure they could definitely use a fish eyed camera!
Even though there are many shops that commander Shepard calls his favorite, I’m quite certain the rover would not have as many favorite shops. In fact, once the shop owners see this little machine snagging pictures and touching their merchandise they probably would ask it to leave. Unfortunately because rover would not understand, the alien would answer its silence with a gun blast. They probably would think this thing was sent by rival shop owners trying to steal their merchandise. The little rover would be destroyed almost immediately if it were to enter shops. If it avoids the shops and travels in other areas, I’m sure no one would care. So maybe the Citadel is not a bad place after all for the little rover!
Cybertron would be like a robotic heaven to our little rover. This planet has it all, advanced technology, talking automatons and a cube that will give our little rover the ability to be self-aware. The reason this planet is on the list of planets not to visit is because the planet is at war. Since the Autobots and the Decepticons are fighting each other, the little rover would be caught in the middle. Would he be a diplomat and try to bring peace between the two bickering sides? Regardless the rover would be caught in an unexpected war and death would most likely be imminent. Would the rover want revenge for being sent out into space and join the Decepticons or would the rover join the Autobots?